Chapter 2: Kink, Sex and Kinky Sex.
So, I’m 16, leaving school and am about to move in with my father down in Kent. I was looking forward to the move considering it’s my home as well as getting away from my Mother and stepfather. They had a very abusive relationship fuelled by alcoholic fights, stress and money worries.
Upon moving down south I expected everyone at my Sixth form to like me as I was with my own people. Well apparently, my closed of nature made me seem arrogant. Also, the fact that the fact that everyone I met eventually asked the question that as to whether or not I was gay. At this point I thought there will be no way to ever get a girlfriend as they will all not be interested. I developed body dysmorphia and learnt how to hide my true feelings from people. Not to mention the loving caring father I knew as a child was suddenly the authoritarian, you must have a job, school and partner preacher. I had gone from one prison to another.
Things were not all bad thou. I got my first job which was fun, I was learning science and music. I was also learning about art, but I detested my art teachers as one was a woman who get offended and upset about everything and the other was a big-headed arsehole that would yell at me for offending her. This was over her telling a fellow student to stop messing about or get out, so I made her a super teacher badge. She thought I was being patronising and saying she was shit. So, when the dick head arrived he was talking to her then suddenly shouted from across the room. “How bloody dare you” right in my direction. Well let’s say I was no longer allowed to use here classes during my free periods to catch up on work and had to write an apology. I could tell she never accepted it.
But back to the main story. So yes, I was in a prison again, but I still had my sexually fantasies. First not kinky then it all changed, and I saw a video on squirt about fisting. I was astonished that it was possible as well as horny. From there I looked in vain for more, but Squirt was limited to non-kinky. So, I looked over google and found a website called PornMD. It was great. A google for porn. I found out very quickly that XTube was the best one. I was introduced to bondage, rope, electro, CBT, rubber and there it was. Hiding behind all the other depravity. A rubber Pup Video. Let’s just say there is something I like about the muffled whimpers of a pup. Humans have a lower moan and or talk sometimes. When I hear “Oh Yeah!” on a porn video I go soft pretty quickly.
Well after spending a year and 2 months at my fathers I Snapped. I dropped out of sixth form, left my job and said to my father I’m going. I ended up at my grandmothers in Deal, Kent. That lasted 3 weeks and only ended because I could not find a job and I was not going to go on the doll. So, I moved back to my mothers at the good old age of 18. I was drinking with my friends, working in a hotel and I also attended catering college. But I couldn’t pull to save my life, freaking out on the spot as soon as someone said go talk to that girl. Not happening.
But then I found a website called Grindr. All praise Grindr. I was in contact with a guy and we had agreed to meet for some fun. I was so scared that I would do something wrong, I spent so long cleaning beforehand just to make sure. He believed I was quite active. Well if your reading this you popped my cherry and it wasn’t the worst sex I’ve had. It went quite well, and it was great. So, I kept meeting up with people in the area but being very, very cautious about the fact that I might know one of the people that I am sleeping with and they out me. By this point I had accepted I was gay, but I would never admit it.
After a year in the north and having some fun along the way, I finally gave in to my father and moved back to his. The job prospects in Newcastle are dire. I got a job at Starbucks in London Victoria and started on the 13thJuly 2013. The job was fun, but I was on minimal wage and my ambitious personality lead me to start hating the fact I can’t progress financially. So, I started smoking and drinking more. Pretty much repeating my father’s early adult life. He wasn’t amused. Still isn’t.
At this point there was a lovely girl that I liked at work. We began to date and too my surprise I actually sexually liked her. It took a while to work out, but I eventually found Bi-Sexuality was me. Well I wanted to have sex with her, but I was shy, and for better of anything else I suffered from Sober Whisky Dick. Still do unless there is a pill involved or I’m stimulated in the right way (Ask my Alpha for details). But eventually I did manage to consummate the relationship.
Unfortunately, it ended when I dumped her. She was lovely and sweet, but I thought it unfair that I was not falling in love with her when she was already to settle down, have kids and the full shebang. Shortly after I transferred to Ebbsfleet International M&S. I was closer to home and had decided to redownload Grindr. This time it was different. I had by this point wanted to pursue some of the kinky things in life.
I had arranged to meet a guy that was into fisting and considering I did like stretching myself out with balloons and could self fist I believed I could take one. I was right, for 3 hours on a hot sunny day in Gravesend he fisted me in a soviet era gas mask. I had never felt so full, so good, so encapsulated with pleasure. We also tried mummification, but it was hot, I get claustrophobia when overheating and I had tried poopers for the first time. So that ended abruptly when I said I felt sick.
End of Chapter.